The Night I Died (Conclusion): Listen To Your Heart

November 21, 2011

For the next three days, my family surrounded me at the hospital.

Lauren, Tabitha, Cari, Heather, Brenna, Eli, and Carter sat with me, laughed with me, and quite literally willed me back to life and the living.

As they live in Portland, Heather and Eli had met Lauren and Carter at the hospital as soon as I was brought in. As soon as she heard from Lauren, Tabitha leaped out of bed in San Antonio, Texas and headed to the airport. Cari too found the first flight available out of Los Angeles and arrived at almost the same time Tabitha did. Brenna, who is in makeup school in L.A. where she literally can’t miss a day of instruction, went to the airport that night after school and arrived home just before midnight.

We have an amazingly close and intensely loving family so having their energy around me was like breathing in pure love. To quote Lou Gehrig: “I consider myself to be the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

Lauren read me many of the emails and comments that had been posted on Facebook. To each and every one of you who held me in your prayers, please know how humbled and eternally grateful I am for your support. Every comment has a special meaning to me. Every one.

During my hospital stay (and I need to add a special hug of gratitude to the nurses at Meridien Park Hospital who are all angels of mercy and healing), Lauren reminded me of something so magical and astounding that it sounds too perfect and beautiful to have really happened. But it did.

On the day of my heart attack, the November volume of our Spiritual Cinema Circle was mailed to all of our subscribers. All of the films on that volume were chosen months before around a singular theme, one that was the center of the discussion of each film on the volume, and was also the actual title of the feature film on the volume:

Listen to Your Heart.

If you put that in a book or script, many people would roll their eyes and tell you “that kind of stuff doesn’t really happen.” But it did.

And just in case that wasn’t a clear enough message, one of my cardiologists also revealed to me that he and his wife had been longtime members of our Spiritual Cinema Circle community!

OK, universe, I finally get it. Thank you so much. Message gratefully received and acknowledged.

When I have been the happiest, most centered, and most productive in my life,  I have indeed listened to my heart, not the “logic and reason” of my head. By refusing to heed my wife’s pleas and warnings, I had indeed both  figuratively and literally ignored my heart (which in so many ways is actually synonymous with my wife).

No more.

So much of this story remains to unfold…so much to evolve through…but this much I have learned:

Someone once said that we know it is our heart speaking to us when we feel inspired or love or both. And I resolve now to always listen to my heart.

Throughout this experience, I have felt the love of and for my amazing wife, family, friends and our wonderful Spiritual Cinema Circle community. That love has in turn inspired me in ways that will resonate, both internally and externally, every day for the rest of my life.

I am excited to live each moment from now on in gratitude and wonderment at this amazing gift that we call…life.

With love.

Stephen Simon


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